I was a little bit miffed by a recent New York Times article on Seattle's predilection for teriyaki.  Although it tried very hard to keep a straight face, it often expressed a snooty sort of horror, because apparently Seattle likes the wrong KIND of teriyaki.  I can appreciate that the author, John T. Edge, has a very clear idea of what teriyaki ought to be.  But the overall haughty tone was just outright wrong-headed.

Seattle does indeed have a love affair with teriyaki.  When I point this out to people here, they frown in puzzlement.  Seattleites simply don't realize how few teriyaki restaurants there are, once you leave the greater Seattle area.  Edge is correct in that, in noting that teriyaki joints are so common as to have become invisible.

I didn't fully appreciate the ubiquity of teriyaki restaurants in Seattle until I moved away.  I spent a year in Atlanta for a job contract, and I was constantly stymied by the complete lack of teriyaki restaurants.  Sure you could order a few teriyaki items off the menu at a Chinese restaurant, but I'm sure you can appreciate that this is a very different thing from "a teriyaki restaurant."  In fact, as near as I can determine, there are no teriyaki restaurants in Atlanta.  

When I inform a Seattleite of this, they are startled.  In fact, I have had many people insist that I'm joking, that I'm playing a very odd prank, like telling the new kid that there's a pool on the roof of the school and then locking him out.  But I swear it's true!

One thing that confounded me about Edge's article is the amount of time he spent talking about things that are not teriyaki.  He seems to be claiming that Seattleites are such troglodytes that they don't know the difference between teriyaki and anything else.  He starts off by covering two restaurants who serve an ethnic dish which they call "teriyaki" because Seattleites don't know the difference and don't care.

Seriously, people, that's kinda weird.

Edge seems not to have spent any time at a regular teriyaki restaurant.  Which is a little odd for an article that purports to be about them.  He briefly covers the terrible ambiance near the end of his article, but fails to capture the magic.  And I can tell he hasn't been into many cheap teriyaki restaurants because he doesn't say anything about the stack of horrifically out-of-date magazines which can inevitably be found near the cash register or the door, for patrons to peruse while waiting for their teriyaki to arrive.

Edge also overlooks the tradition of the teriyaki salad, which is a confusing combination of iceberg lettuce, shredded carrot, and a dressing best described as "peculiar."  Is it ranch?  Is it Caesar?  It's hard to say - it's white, watery, tangy, and delicious.

And the final tip-off that Edge is unschooled in the way of Seattle teriyaki restaurants: I did not find a single mention of the ubiquitous Styrofoam clamshell container, embossed with a smiley face and "Have A Nice Day" on the top.  Poser!