Beefy or beef? And so what?

In the matter of the beef, that the lawyer suing Taco Bell has with Taco Bell over the beef, rather the beef content of Taco Bell's beefy product, I come down on the side of Taco Bell.

When one goes into a fast food place for a beefy sandwich does one expect to receive the whole cow?

Also when one looks at the product, one can see what one is getting, beef with a lot of ingredients,

Wait a second -- Taco Bell is fighting back. Taco Bell says, in an ad, published in national newspapers today, Friday, that its " tacos are made with 88% USDA inspected beef — not 35%, as alleged." And Taco Bell says it may counter sue the accuser.

From USA Today -- "We're retaining outside counsel," says President Greg Creed, in a phone interview late Friday. "I never studied law, but we'll do whatever's necessary to retain our reputation."

I find myself rooting for a major corporation. Oh my! But I don't feel so bad, they are fighting a lawyer.

Item from the Associated Press --:"Taco Bell has launched an advertising campaign to fight back against a lawsuit charging its taco filling isn't beef." See the video.

Spiced Coffee Cake Versus Spiced Muffins


I got into a fight tonight and retreated into the kitchen with my cookbook in my hands in search of a good recipe. For no other reason than nostalgia, I chose to make coffee cake.

 

My mom has the same pastry cutter she has had since I was a kid; I don’t have one at all, but was somehow able to accomplish the monumental task of cutting the butter into the flour and sugar without a pastry cutter with a potato masher. I accidentally put all of the sugar in at once, forgetting that the rest of the sugar was supposed to go on top for the coffee cake’s streudel. I compensated by adding more sugar on top and substituted cinnamon for Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Pie spices left over from the holidays. This proved to be the right choice. I resisted the temptation to turn the coffee cake batter mixture into some sort of hot buttered rum concoction and baked the mixture at 375.

 

The result was tasty, but I probably won’t be making that same recipe again.

 

I wasn’t finished yet, though. I was a woman on a mission and that mission was to be alone without spending any money for as long as possible. Unfortunately, this ruled out the bar down the street, so I chose instead to bake some muffins in addition to the coffee cake. I decided after the fact that baking both would serve as the ultimate test to see which was superior: the spiced coffee cake or the spiced muffins.

 

Again, I made a strange substitution. The recipe called for a mixture of milk and heavy cream; apparently, the convenience store owners down the street don’t understand the importance of heavy cream in certain recipes, so I had to settle for half and half. The result was a much more liquid-y batter than I am used to and I made a bit of mess when I attempted to pour the batter into the twelve individual muffin cups in my muffin tin. (No Betty White references today—it’s none of your business how dusty my muffin is.)

 

My muffins were a little misshapen and were different sizes—please no more muffin jokes—but the taste was totally delicious, even without the heavy cream which would have given the muffins an edge in the spiced coffee cake versus spiced muffin challenge. I’m excited to try more spiced muffin recipes in the future; some of them call for pumpkin puree which should spice things up considerably.

 

 

 

Editorial or Note to Stupid Hipsters who Beg for Beer and Pot Money on the Street:

 

Hey, Hipsters. I have a question for you. Why should I give you my hard-earned money when you are too lazy to work?

 

Your clothes are nicer than mine, your stupid little hand-woven hat retails for $40, you still have enough spare cash on hand to make little novelty purchases like your f-ing gnome, and you aren’t even creative enough to write an unusual sign. Despite your show of racial diversity, I am unlikely to offer you handouts or choose to feed you for free even if you're not a Trustafarian.

 

This fine nation of ours has great jobs at fast food restaurants across the country; one of the many perks of working at a Taco Bell or a Burger King is the free food. Admittedly, the food may not contain any actual nutrients like real meat or vegetables that aren’t contaminated with salmonella, but I doubt that the beer and pot you want to buy with my money is all that healthy, either.

 

It may seem fun and cute for you to beg on the street, but you aren’t fooling anyone. You are just as capable as anyone else and while the economy is teetering on the brink of disaster and you might not get your dream job as a Broadway star, there are plenty of jobs available for people who are willing to get up off the sidewalk and actually apply for a job. As an added bonus, you won’t have to sit in other people’s bodily fluids (spit and urine) and you won’t be embarrassed when you accidentally ask your high school math teacher for money. (If you do get a job in a fast food restaurant and are embarrassed to be seen by people you know, remember that you have the power to spit in their food as long you are not seen or caught.)

 

Leave the begging on the streets to the people who really can’t get a job anywhere because you aren’t fooling anybody—you’ve never gone hungry in your life and you never will. You obviously have no other mouths to feed other than your own; if New York City is too expensive for you to live in, move to Iowa and grow some corn. If Iowa is not to your liking, maybe you can move to Idaho and become a potato farmer because farmers are really kind of the salt of the earth or something like that. 

Image by Flckr User: Ed Yourdon


Tropolis: A "Snackified" Drink

I'm of two minds about the news that Pepsi is planning to release a new line of drinkable fruit puree marketed at kids. No, wait: I'm of three minds. Because I feel we need to address the stab in the eye that is the word "snackify."

PepsiCo's Chairman and CEO describes the new initiative as being one that aims to "snackify drinks and "drinkify" beverages." She also says that "it's outdated to think that snacks are dry and beverages are wet."

I grant you the first point - after all, what is a can of Pepsi, but a snack? But on the second one I must hold firm. A beverage is wet. That is what makes it a beverage instead of a powder, a chip, or a blueberry crunchlet.

Once we finish addressing the issue of PepsiCo's wanton and tin-eared stomping of the English language, we get down to the main conundrum here.

First of all, I think anything that gets kids to eat more fruit is a good thing. You're with me on this, right? I've often thought that we would do a much better job of eating fruit and vegetables if they were marketed by Nabisco instead of sitting there all plain in the produce aisle. Kids love marketing. They love snappy catchphrases and cute logos and adorable spokescritters. No point arguing with it.

And as far as a treat marketed to kids goes, these "snackified" drinks really aren't too bad. They have a fair amount of added sugar, it's true. But their other ingredients are relatively unadulterated. This is basically applesauce in different fruit flavors, without any artificial ingredients. No starches, no oils, no weird stabilizers - just fruit juice, fruit puree, and water.

(Actually I just thought of another thing. The very idea of drinking applesauce from a pouch makes me gag. I have this thing about food textures. I won't be trying this, I assure you. But that doesn't mean it's, like, morally incorrect or anything.)

On the other hand, oh snap, PepsiCo just figured out a way to brand and market and mark up the profits on an apple by like 1,000%. How much longer will it be before the produce aisle looks like the "chips and popcorn" aisle? We already have Grapples, for pity's sake!

Those of us accustomed to thinking of fruits and vegetables as pure untarnished food, untouched by the grubby corporate hands of (e.g.) PepsiCo can only cringe at this news. Tropolis (which my brain reads like propolis, the stuff that bees make) is like the Poochie of the produce aisle.

(Actually, I bet Poochie would totally dig Tropolis brand snackified fruit slurry drink. "Hey kids! It's apples - TO THE X-TREME!")

More and more, America is starting to seem to me like a little kid being coaxed by Mom and Dad to please, for pity's sake, eat a fruit! Just one grape! Just the tiniest bit of something just a little bit healthy! If Tropolis is what it takes to get people to put down their chicken nuggets and consume the functional equivalent of an apple, then so be it.

How Much Meat Does a Taco Bell Taco Actually Have?

Mexican fast food giant Taco Bell, part of the behemouth Pepsi corporation, is being sued for identifying its meat as meat.  The plaintiffs are claiming that Taco Bell’s meat doesn’t contain nearly enough meat to be labeled as 100% beef. Taco Bell, of course, is standing by its products. Without an insider in the Taco Bell food chain, it’s almost impossible to gauge just how accurate either the plaintiff’s claims are. How much meat does a Taco Bell taco actually contain?

 

I found this picture of a Taco Bell taco HERE  and kind of fell in love with the graph although I do doubt its accuracy to a certain degree. Does a Taco Bell taco really only have 7% e coli? I know there haven’t been any confirmed cases of e coli related to Taco Bell, but I doubt the company is all that picky about where they get their beef.

 

The video below shows just how concerned the American public is about the lawsuit and Taco Bell’s meat. For some unknown reason, none of the people interviewed care whether or not their “favorite Mexican fast food restaurant” serves quality products or not. One guy said he liked Taco Bell because, “it feeds a lot of poor people”—is it then ok to serve poor people inferior products that might make them sick just because they can’t afford to go to the more expensive food chains (which are also unhealthy)? Another man on the street said, “You get what you pay for, which is why the tacos are 39 or 49 cents.”

 

All joking aside, the class action lawsuit states that Taco Bell is using meat fillers to avoid the expense of serving an all-meat product; in response to the allegations, Taco Bell has stated that it will countersue the plaintiffs for defaming the Taco Bell name.  Taco Bell says that it uses a mixture of seasonings and spices to spice up their meat, but the attorneys for the class-action lawsuit aren’t buying the Taco Bell company line in this instance.

 

The class action lawsuit against Taco Bell was filed in Alabama and there is another unrelated lawsuit against Taco Bell that was filed in California.

Here's the Taco Bell famous recipe you can try at home:

  • 88% USDA-inspected quality beef
  • 3-5% water for moisture
  • 3-5% spices including salt, chili pepper, onion powder, tomato powder, sugar, garlic powder, cocoa powder and a blend of Mexican spices and natural flavors
  • 3-5% oats, starch, sugar, yeast, citric acid

 

Here is another story on the same topic.

 

Road Food, Street Food and Party Food

A sit-down meal is always nice. It's a relaxing break from the rest of the day and it practically requires us to concentrate on the food in front of us. It turns food into an event. Still, sometimes food needs to conform to us instead. There are three instances when the right way to eat gets some new rules, times when physical limitations necessitate simplicity and innovation without sacrificing flavor. Three such situations are when we're on the road, on the town or at a party.

Road Food

The road trip is an American institution. We have the world's most complex, extensive system of highways, off-ramps and local roads in the world. Taking to those pathways can be a downright adventure, but it can also be time consuming. Getting from Point A to Point B on the road can take hours or days, certainly enough time to intersect with a meal. Eating on wheels can be a dicey prospect because of the confined space of a car, the potential mess of bumps and swerving, and the need to keep moving. All good road food, the best road food, has one thing in common: It's utensil-free. Sandwiches, wraps and stuff on sticks are all favorites of highway eating, but there are some other things to consider. Messy stuff, that's sandwiches that tend to deposit half their contents beneath them and burritos that tend to squirt under pressure, are all bad ideas. That's why simple is better. A good Southern-style barbecue sandwich can't be beat. It's smoked, thinly shaved pork with just a little vinegar to liven up the taste. No sloppy sauces, no slippery garnish, just high-density satisfaction.

 

Street Food

Food from carts and trucks in public spaces has more versatility than road food if only because mess and utensils aren't as big an issue. It's easy enough to lean against a wall with a paper container of bourbon chicken or let some lettuce fall from a taco onto the street. Dropped food is what urban animals are for. The mark of good street food is that it's well-made but not fancy. Don't mess around with the perfection of the hotdog. It doesn't need crazy sauces and unexpected veggie companions. Street food needs to satisfy the particular hungers of those who would rather not spend the time and money to eat at a restaurant, or those who are heading home from a night of drinking. When fast, savory and cheap are the name of the game, nothing beats the old taco truck. A hard shell filled with grilled meat, fish and/or vegetables hits the spot like nothing else, especially with a cane sugar soda alongside.

 

Party Food

People don't come to a party to eat, but it's always good to have some incidental munchies around anyway. Some traditional party foods are a bad idea, like meatballs. Whether Swedish style, marinara or in barbecue sauce, meatballs are messy and difficult to eat discreetly. They fly off of plates, dribble down chins and leave a strong scent on the breath. Party food should stick to being dry finger food, like pretzels, unsalted nuts and grapes. The standard vegetable platter is also a bad idea, unless you like it when your guests get celery stuck in their teeth and end up fighting over the inevitable double-dipper. Keep it simple, keep it clean and remember to make your party eats conducive to socializing.

Pudding Cup Prevarication

With New Year's resolutions wavering, I have noticed that a lot of diet foods are going on sale at the grocery store. Maybe they always stock a lot of fat-free sugar-free stuff for the new year, and then sell off the extra at the end of the month.

This week, a sale on pudding cups caught my eye. I'm not a big fan of pudding cups. If I have a pudding craving (which I rarely do) I'll just buy the real stuff and make it myself. It's not that hard to make instant pudding, it tastes a lot better, it costs a fraction of the pre-cupped version, it doesn't leave you with a lot of non-recyclable plastic waste, and it doesn't have that unsettling "shelf stable" thing going for it.

But I grabbed these because it was a six-pack of cups on sale for a dollar, and I thought they were non-fat. "Made with nonfat milk," the label said. What the heck, I thought. They will make a decent emergency afternoon snack.

If only I had stopped to read the label!

I have to learn this lesson over and over again. Marketing claims exist solely to trick you into buying the product by any means necessary. Never shop tired, that should be my rule, because I always get sloppy about this kind of thing when I'm tired.

In this particular case, the Hunt's Pudding Cups wrapper says "Made with real nonfat milk." No doubt this is true. But each pudding cup has 3.5 grams of fat. (Including 2 grams of saturated fat!) Where does this fat come from, if not from milk? Why, from vegetable oil. I mean, obviously! Don't you put vegetable oil in your pudding? I know I always do!

By comparison, Jell-O Chocolate Fudge pudding cups have only 1 gram of fat. That's right: these "made with lowfat milk" pudding cups actually have 3.5 times more fat than a regular old pudding cup!

I didn't actually cotton on to this until I ate a few for review purposes. They tasted really good, and had a very nice consistency. They were delicious enough that it made me suspicious. I had to go dig the cardboard wrapper out of the recycling to check the nutritional data, because it wasn't printed on the individual cup.

I suppose they're counting on people to do exactly what I did - pull the cups out of the pack, discard the cardboard wrapper, and snack away, heedless to the truth. (The lids of the individual cups may not have nutritional information printed on them, but you're darned right they repeat that "Made with nonfat milk" motto.)

Are these pudding cups good? Oh yes. Are they good FOR you? Oh no. In fact, these are the worst possible pudding cups you could buy, from a nutritional standpoint. A regular chocolate Jell-O pudding cup has less than 1/3rd the grams of fat, and about 3/4ths the calories - only 90 calories, compared to these cups which clock in at 130 calories.

Alabama's Got a beef with Taco Bell over the Beef?

It seems that there is an attorney in Alabama who is looking for a law suit? He is suing Taco Bell for not having enough beef in its beefy burritos. And he says this is false advertising, that the Taco Bell beefy burritos only have half the beef a "beef product" is supposed to have. Oh?

Beefy burritos? There's the beef. The Taco Bell burrito meat is only 35% beef, according to the law suit and the rest of the ingredients are Taco Bell's special or secret special seasoned blend of "oats, yeast extract and modified corn starch." And --

Taco Bell plans to fight the law suit. Of course.

My take on this? Who gives a flying freak as long as they aren't using meat from that little dog of theirs who acts somewhat human. For crying out loud, Taco Bell has millions of customers who like those burritos. They taste good to them, what else matters? As long as it isn't that little dog's meat or human meat -- why the beef? Answer: Somebody wants to get paid.

Yes, I've had a Taco Bell burrito. I've had more than one, more than a dozen. I have had the crunchy tacos too. I am not advocating that people should run out and eat them, because I don't visit fast food restaurants anymore. I have to look out for my heath, have to keep from being obese, have to take better care of my body, and be careful of what I eat.

However, I still remember how I liked the tacos and the burritos.

Item from The Associated Press -- "An Alabama law firm has filed a lawsuit claiming that Taco Bell is using false advertising when it refers to using 'seasoned ground beef' or 'seasoned beef.' Taco Bell officials deny those claims." See the video.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Mexican Crema, the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?

What’s more delicious than sour cream, made fresh, and can be purchased at a local tienda near you? (Don’t worry- I’ll tell you now. I won’t make you wait until the end of the post.)

Mexican crema. Mmmmmmmm, a little taste of Heaven. (Apologies to any Vegans who are concerned about any Dairy Cows who may be hurt as a result of my new crema addiction.)

According to “Cooking at Home”, Mexican crema is “a rich, thick, lightly soured cream similar in flavor and consistency to crème fraiche and thinner than sour cream.” Since I’ve had a container of crema in my refrigerator over the last week or so, I’ve topped off every single bite Mexican-related food with a good-sized thinnish dollop (or two or three) of my new favorite dairy product. (I haven’t yet resorted to licking it off of my plate, but it might very well come to that some day.)

 Different people (and by people I mean the foodies whose palates are a bit more discerning than mine) see less differences between crème fraiche, sour cream, and Mexican crema than I do; this foodie-inspired site has a discussion thread asking about the relative differences between the three creams. The consensus seems to be that the three are basically the same, but that Mexican crema is much thinner, which makes it better for runny-sauced chipotle mixes or for drizzling over your fave foods. 

 This site offers a how-to for making your own Mexican crema (sour cream). Basically, you only need two ingredients: 1 pint of half and half, and a ¼ cup of cultured sour cream or buttermilk.

First of all, it’s important to note that the buttermilk or sour cream has to have living bacteria in it. Unfortunately, it’s more than likely that you won’t be able to find mass-produced sour cream with living bacteria in it—the label should say whether or not it has a starter—but it should be easier to find buttermilk with living bacteria. (I know, it sounds weird and slightly gross, but it’s important.)

Mix the two together at room temperature, cover the mixture, and leave it outside of the refrigerator for 12-20 hours after which, presto, you magically have Mexican crema to use and eat as you wish. From what I’ve read, fresh Mexican crema usually keeps about a week in the fridge. (I’ve tempted the fates and kept it for longer with no ill effects, but I wouldn’t necessarily advise doing the same.)

When Is A Blueberry Not A Blueberry?

When it's a "blueberry crunchlet!"

I like to think I'm a pretty savvy and skeptical shopper. Even so, I have to admit, I always assumed there were blueberries in there. Shows what happens when you don't read the fine print, I guess, and it happens to the best of us.

It turns out that most things you buy at the grocery store which ostensibly contain blueberries, do not actually contain blueberries. For example Frosted Mini Wheats Blueberry Muffin cereal does not contain blueberries but "blueberry crunchlets" which are "defined as a mix of sugars, soybean oil, red #40 and blue #2."

This makes sense, though. It's not like you can freeze-dry blueberries and put them in pre-packaged cereal. OH WAIT YOU TOTALLY CAN DO THAT.

These blueberry crunchlets highlight another problem with pre-packaged mass-market consumer food: what experts call the "hyper-real" nature of artificial foods. Compared to an actual freeze-dried blueberry, I bet a blueberry crunchlet is sweeter and has a more vibrant colors. And that becomes our standard: sweetness and vibrant colors.

Who's the loser in this? We are, because it's also a bunch of artificial nonsense that contributes nothing to your health, and may actually be harmful. And because every time someone eats a blueberry crunchlet, they become more inclined to eat something like a blueberry crunchlet - made and marketed and copyrighted by Kelloggs - than a real blueberry.

Blueberry crunchlets no doubt represent the pinnacle of food science. It's just a pity that all that effort was put into the service of what Michael Pollan calls "edible food-like substances."

An entire generation of kids is being raised on things like blueberry crunchlets. To say nothing of being cajoled into eating some kind of fiber by the addition of frosting, and whatever constitutes the "muffin" part of "blueberry muffin flavor cereal."

Blueberries, of course, are really good for you. You can buy a bag of frozen unsweetened blueberries for about $6 a pound in my part of the world. Doled out a handful at a time atop cereal or yogurt or oatmeal, that $6 will last you a while - and give you a great boost of nutrients, antioxidants, fiber, and vitamins. The same is true in slightly lesser terms for dried blueberries, and for products like Craisins.

I read recently that Walmart is piously pledging to reduce the cost of their fresh produce, in order to help America eat better. Well let me tell you something, the produce at Walmart is already pretty darned cheap. I don't think anyone is balking at the price of apples.

The problem with Walmart produce - and I say this as someone who has shopped a Walmart grocery section within the last two weeks - is that it's poor quality, and too little variety. No doubt the situation isn't helped by it being January at the moment, the year's worst month for produce. But man, those heads of lettuce looked sad. They only cost 99 cents, but they looked poor. The same went for the oranges (on sale for 38 cents apiece).

The sad truth is, you can barely give away produce in this country. Instead, we turn to blueberry crunchlets.

Photo credit: Flickr/Wally Hartshorn

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