Chocolate Covered Insects - Mmmmmmm

I love our London friends - they can really make an impression - for instance the story "Chocolate bugs fly off the shelves at Fortnum & Mason" is a real hoot and can really tell us something about the business over there at Fortnum & Mason - but I suppose that is beside the point. Chocolate and insects both have a rich history, and occasionally pop up together in the media - this is likely due to our society and how this is an oddity in our culture.

In this story the idea came to the creator of the products after traveling to countries where insects are comonly eaten as delicacies, and of course by the poor. Insects are high in protein and can be quite sanitary - even when eaten raw. This may be surprising but from many of the articles I have read there is a real terror in the minds of people regarding eating insects but if you eat processed food you likely already have eaten parts or the eggs of insects and not even known it (Leggo my insect Eggo!) because our FDA has stardards which allow a certain amount of insect parts and other undesirables into the food chain. See below:

1.2.5 Defect Action Levels (DALs) (Subpart G)
The last subpart of the food GMPs allows FDA to define maximum defect action levels (DALs) for a defect that is natural or unavoidable even when foods are produced under GMPs as set out in the other subparts of the regulations. Generally, these defects are not hazardous to health at low levels; they include rodent filth, insects, or mold. The DALs are defined for individual commodities and may be obtained by request from FDA, which produces a Handbook on Defect Action Levels for Food. They are also available from the FDA Web site Defect Action Levels handbook. Table 1-3 provides examples of the maximum DALs for select food products. Manufacturers are expected to use quality control operations that reduce the level of the defect to the lowest possible levels. Those exceeding maximum DALs will be considered in violation of Section 402 (3)(a) of the FDCA.

See, insects can't be that bad - and if your eating them in the Good Ole U.S. of A. they have to be pretty sanitary - so why not try them covered in chocolate! I have even found a few places where you can do just that:

Chocolate Covered Insects Packs: 24CT Box $39.60

We don`t know about you, but the first thing we think when we catch a cockroach skittering across a kitchen floor? CHOCOLATE. In fact, there`s no grub worm, slug, or grasshopper we wouldn`t like to see smothered in the gooey good stuff. Now there`s some good-eatin`. You?

Chocolate Covered Crickets 24 for $24

Our crickets are oven roasted to perfection and then covered with the finest chocolate available to create one truly unforgettable exotic snack.

These prices are pretty steep for chocolate covered bugs but I will give it a try - it's worth it to at least eat them as a novelty and not in my frozen waffles.

Before I forget - check out that lady in the picture... with the caption "Creepy crawly: Guy Ferneyhough likened the tarantula to Chinese seaweed" oh man and I glad I live in the states the women there are just so... London looking! She does look like shes having fun though - redheads always  have more fun!

Cucumber Melon Sangria Blanca

Okay, so what is classier than box wine? Making a delicious, expensive sounding, Sangria out of that box wine! Here's what you need to do:

To start you need a lot of wine, preferably the cheapest wine you can get in a large amount (like everyone's college favorite FRANZIA). This wine should have a really simple taste to it - you do not need any of that fancy "oaky flavor" grape-named wine - in fact the cheaper it is the better. Seeing as this is Sangria Blanca you want the wine to be white.

We need a vessel (or a few vessels) for this magical summer elixer so grab a punch bowl or some other large liquid-holding container you can find.

Next you need a cucumber - wash it off and slice thin (1/4 - 1/2 inch slices) sections, set the sections to the side (in a clean area!), or in the (clean!) vessel. If you place them in the container you wiill use you will save yourself some extra clean up so this is the best option. You do not need to "peel" the cucumber - but you may if you prefer.

After that you need a cantaloupe - peel it, and cut some nice medium (bite sized) chunks. Throw them in with the cucumber.

If you have any other fruit in your fridge, you know the stuff that you bought because you're trying to be healthy but havent eaten and its getting old, chop some of that up and throw it in too. This isn't science and you can add whatever you like - just make sure the Cucumber and Melon are more visible so you can call it Cucumber Melon Sangria Blanca without questions from your judgemental friends and neighbors.

See what nearly empty bottles of booze you have left from your bender last week, or go over to Lindsay Lohans' house and you're bound to find something we can use as the kicker to this summer of love beverage. Set the booze aside (or if your at Lindsays house try to sneak out and avoid kicking around all the empty bottles and waking her up)

We will also need something to sweeten the mixture - you can use honey, simple syrup, sugar, sugar in the raw (the ones you stole from Starbucks ... err pocketed to add to your drink later are fine). If it's sweet it's in! You want about 1/8 - 1/4 cup of whatever you you decide on  - yes you can use more if you want, IDC (I Don't Care for those of you who are not hip to internet speak).

Then... and this is the best part ... mix it all up! Let it all soak together overnight (in the fridge) before serving so the flavors all blend together and it is nice and chilled, 24 hours is preferred. You just found this recipe and your party is in an hour? Whatever, it's totally fine and its alcohol so nobody will care as long as its free and looks good, let it chill for an hour then - but the longer it sits the better it tastes.

After all of your hard work and waiting you can finally consume it! Voila! Your an instant beverage celebrity and everyone will want you to make your secret "low cal and healthy sounding" ©®™ beverage for their parties. You might even finally get laid - by someone willing - and Lindsay doesn't count because she was passed out!

 

Counteracting the Social Cost of the "Big Box"

Recently, I had to make a very important purchase - a new dining set for my small, urban, one bedroom apartment. There was a lot of thought to go into it but price was (as it always is) one of the biggest factors I had to consider. I wanted to stay as close as possible to $100 for the purchase of a sturdy table and four chairs - while at the same time also getting what I purchased delivered directly to my apartment. Impossible you say? Not so when you have Walmart.com on your side (for better or worse). I found exactly what I needed - a table and four chairs - delivered free to my apartment for $129.00 (plus tax).

My dilema? It's Walmart - Evil, greedy, corporate, take-our-jobs-overseas, Walmart (in case you were confused about which one). I had to wrestle long and hard with myself and decide if the $75 or so dollars is worth the social cost and after some "desperate" justification I feel it is. This is certainly something I wouldn't share with my closest friends, to them this table was purchased "online", but I have found a way to make myself feel better about the purchase and balance out some of the "evil". It is the "social cost" that has effected me the most and my decision to buy from a faceless corporate entity instead of my local furniture store is what I have been thinking about most.

We all know it is important to purchase items locally for a reasons that are too numerous to to list but the biggest reason to do so is that the money stays local and finds its way back into the community. How can I buy local when I am on a budget though? Craigslist is one way to go - and I could have helped the environment at the same time by recycling furniture instead of buying something brand new. The problem with this is that the thought of purchasing the item, in person, from a stranger, is creepy to me. I could be murdered, raped, or even worse - have to make small talk. There's also the local retail stores but for the same thing I would have spent $75 or more for something that is comparable - with no free delivery. In addition to the higher price tag and the fact that the item would not be delivered free - I don't know where the money at my local place is going - small business owners can be some of the most interesting people in the world and for all I know the owner of "Joe's Furniture Barn" might funnel that money to Nazi sympathizers, Al-Qaeda, or even use the money at Target (and I am currently boycotting Target for my own social and political reasons).

My justification for shopping at Walmart (when they are clearly more "evil" than Target) is that I can use the money I saved in my own way, for my own causes, on my own terms, directly. I can donate all (or some) of the money I saved to my favorite local charities and create and help my own personal socially responsible initiatives. I can use the money I saved to donate directly - which will affect my own bottom line - because I can get the small tax "write off" (instead of the company I purchase from). Most importantly the chunk of money I am saving can go to the things I care about and love so it all balances out. Right?

I thought so. If you are struggling with your own purchases - think outside the box. My only purchase made at Walmart (dot com - not the store - I couldn't be seen at the store) this year was my dining set and it was carefully thought out. That $129.00 I spent will have helped me as well as some of my local charities, and while it is not a place I plan on shopping at regularly, it is an option that has helped me with my own budget goals - which is always a win.

Stoney subs at CHeBA HUT (now open in San Diego)

Got the munchies? Finally California has something its been missing, a hip sandwich franchise that caters especially to hungry stoners, “Where the only thing fried, is the occasional customer,” as Cheba Hut’s motto states.

 

Cheba Hut already has several locations around Arizona and Colorado, as well as in Oregon and New Mexico. Its newest establishment has recently opened in the San Diego College Area at 6363 El Cajon Blvd. near SDSU. Known for their friendly staff, relaxed atmosphere, and healthy and delicious food, Cheba Cut is a big hit with the college crowd.

 

Cheba Hut serves up its signature “Toasted” Subs in three sizes: Nugs (4”), Pinners (8”), and Blunts (12”). The menu includes a long list of mouth-watering subs, all named for popular strains of bud. The bestselling White Widow has grilled chicken breast smothered in Cheba Hut’s signature “homegrown” ranch dressing, topped with mushrooms, bacon, and provolone cheese.

 

Other tasty options include the AK-47 (French Dip), the Panama Red (Chicken Marinara), The Kind (Turkey, Bacon, Swiss), or even healthy vegetarian subs such as Train Wreck (Feta Cheese) and Silver Haze (Hummus).

 

Each franchise also has its own signature sub to satisfy the locals. The San Diego location is home of the “Kali Mist,” a killer combination of turkey, bacon, avocado, pepper jack, and chipotle mayo. Pretty dank.

 

Each sub comes topped with lettuce, onions, pickles, tomatoes, and “special” house dressing as requested. Customers are given a choice of breads include white, wheat, or garlic “herb” bread which I highly recommend.

 

In addition to all the tasty subs, Cheba Hut also bakes its own “Incredible Munchies.” Stoned patrons can indulge their sweet-tooth with creations like the popular “Goo Balls” (an orb-shaped variation on the Rice Krispie treat with peanut butter, honey, and cocoa) or 100% legal “Hemb Brownies.”

 

Cotton mouth? No problem! Cheba Hut has red and purple Kool-Aid on tap to help wash down your blunt. Thirsty for something else? You can also get fountain sodas (Pepsi products), bottled water, Gatorade, or even home made iced tea.

 

Too lazy to walk or too stoned to drive? Cheba Hut’s got you covered! Since you can’t toke up in the restaurant, the Cheba Hut van can come to you. Offering catering and late-night deliveries right to your dorm room or front door, what could be better!?

 

Founded in 1998 by Scott Jennings at Arizona State University, Cheba Hut now has an ever-growing franchise community with immediate franchise opportunities in the majority of U.S. states. Its next franchise location will be opening in Iowa City, IA.

 

So the next time your stoned in San Diego, be sure to check out Cheba Hut. Although it won’t be very long before new locations start popping up around college towns all over the U.S.

 

Damn, now I’m hungry… What did I do with that take out menu? Oh, here it is. Visit www.chebahut.com or call (619) 269-1111 for more information on Cheba Hut and its menu.

Advice From Vivica Browning, Zombie Hunter

Because the Zen Ramblings Zodiac Squad's astrolabe is on the fritz, we've decided to allow the individual slated to be this week's guest horoscope reader to lavish our readers with some practical advice in her area of expertise. Worry not, we'll be back to presenting a weekly analysis of the stars in eight days' time. For now, we're handing over the floor to one of America's leading zombie survival experts, Ms. Vivica Browning of the Smith-Binder Walking Dead Response Corporation.

Thanks, Squad. While I'm a bit disappointed that I won't be able to interpret the signs for ya'll today, I'm more than happy to enlighten your readers with some of the most important survival tips for those experiencing a zombie outbreak. My employers and I have to compete with misconceptions about the undead every single day. I'm sad to say that a lot of innocent people have fallen victim to bad intel when it comes to zombies. All the movies and video games and such have been making our jobs a lot harder lately. It'll pass, though. My supervisor, Gary, tells me stories about what it was like working in the field in the 80's during the last movie craze. I'll spare ya'll, but I will say that it was an ugly, ugly time.

The first thing you need to know about zombies is that they come in several varieties. You've got your standard European Shuffler, common as deer. They came over to the States with the pilgrims and made a mess of Roanoke. We've never been able to quite stamp 'em out. They're slow, they moan a lot and like most Europeans they're really picky eaters. That's where the whole "brains" thing comes from. Fun fact, this variety automatically starts speaking French when they're infected. I'll tell ya, it's a lot less chilling to hear a horde of the undead groaning, "Cerveux! Cerveux!" That's not to say you shouldn't be careful, though. Just one bite'll give ya the bug. That in mind, if any of your fellow survivors starts speaking with a funny accent or refusing American coffee, isolate them immediately.

The other most common type of zombie in America is the Voodoo Reanimated variety. Now, these are zombies made from regular folks who are already dead. They don't spread the curse with bites but they take a lot of work to put down. Those Shufflers fall to one bullet in the brainpan but a VR won't stop coming at you unless you make it physically impossible for it to move. I'm talking destroyed head, severed legs and arms, burned to ashes. A real pain in the ass. If you've got the Voodoo on you, don't try to make a stand. Just run.

Now, let's talk weaponry. Sometimes you've gotta fight while you wait for Smith-Binder to show up and finish the job, so make sure you've got the right equipment. Stay away from the stereotypical stuff. Chainsaws are stupid because you're more likely to hurt yourself or another survivor than you are to take down a zombie in a timely fashion. If you must melee, stick with something blunt and durable. Baseball bats work well in a pinch. Also forget about shotguns. They're slow to reload, unwieldy and suck at range. You ain't hunting quail, you're fighting the walking dead. Use a firearm that's got some kick and can reliably hit a target from at least 30 yards. And explosives? Unless you're an expert pyrotechnician, skip 'em. You're no good fighting zombies if you've blown your hand off.

Ultimately, your most valuable weapon is your brain. Zombies are stupid. Really stupid. Ya know how stupid your pet cat is? Well, zombies make Mittens look like a freakin' rocket scientist. And the scarier a zombie gets, the stupider it gets. That's decomposition for ya. You can confuse the undead by running in circles and making loud noises. I once saw a mall full of survivors save themselves by going to the second floor and turning all the escalators to "down". Don't be a hero. Don't be gung-ho. Don't panic. Just think like a living human and you'll get out alive.

Subway for Breakfast

Subway is one of those restaurants where I could eat every. Single. Day. I totally get you, Jared. And even though they always make fun of me for my weird sandwich (lettuce, cucumber, and cheese on wheat with some salt, pepper, oil and vinegar—yum!), I will keep coming back for my insanely awesome $5 foot long.

As you may have already been aware, Subway has been running a breakfast special for the past few months. According to the sub shop, the breakfast meal has been so successful with its egg and cheese muffin and flatbread sandwiches that plans for many more items—including select coffees!—will soon be available. Subway’s menu will soon be home to several yet to be disclosed breakfast choices that will offer early commuters something delicious and possibly more healthful to choose from.

According to Subway’s Research and Development project leader Larry Varvella, the plan is to run a bunch of new ideas for limited time offers and see what the people like. He also says that there are “lots of items in the pipeline,” which sounds exciting.

What is it about new! stuff that appeals to us, anyway? A lot of times when we select where we’ll be eating out during the week, I’ll ask, “Well, what do they have that’s new?” I’m sure I sound a lot like that snotty guy in Ratatouille.

Flavored coffees and espresso drinks may also be included in the new lineup, which will obviously be a part of a growing trend that many fast food joints are picking up on—the desire for dessert in the morning disguised as coffee. (Not that I’m complaining; iced coffee is one of my favorites, too—and the more whipped cream, the better!)

I really wish they’d have done this while I was in college! My junior year, I had an hour and a half commute from work to college, and would’ve loved this option after a long night shift. Instead, I was stuck with whatever I could remember to pack the night before or a convenience store cinnamon roll.

Today, when my family and I eat out, it’s usually for lunch; on the occasional trips we take early in the morning, however, we may just have to start stopping at subway if our daughter gets the munchies instead of picking up something mildly nutritious (a cereal bar, some peanuts) on the way. 

L.A. Asks City to Share the Scraps

When I was in San Francisco, I noticed how many people would share their meals with the homeless. I’m not saying that everyone did, but they sure did more often than what I’ve seen in St. Louis. People would just walk right up to homeless people on the street and hand them their leftovers from restaurants. Sometimes they would even engage in conversation, or remark, “It’s a frittata and waffles, it’s really good!” I was simply amazed at the casual way people simply cared about others. I know where I live, there are many who would scorn, “Don’t encourage them!”

Right now in Los Angeles, the city council is asking that the leftover foods from city departments be donated to the hungry. Sponsors say that they want donating leftover food to become as commonplace as recycling is in the area, and that food banks and other assistance groups would welcome the donations.

I’m sure they would, too. When I worked at our area food pantry, I saw so many families there—some of them, especially the elderly couples and parents with young children, broke my hearts—and I hated that so much of the food we gave them looked like crap. I know that people would be grateful for anything when hungry—we were on food stamps ourselves for a time when I was a child, after all—but repeated donations of creamed corn, refried beans, and stale bread—which often came from the local stores, which was cool—isn’t something that you actually look forward to. I remember slipping an extra little bottle of chocolate milk to a little girl with dirty cheeks, wondering how often she got to indulge in the treat.

If this program works, I hope that it’s emulated all across the country. We throw away a huge portion—about a third—of what we buy and it all goes to waste. Even when I scrape our plates out into the compost bin, sharing nutrients with the soil, I often wonder if there would be a way for me to get this food to someone who could really use it. How cool would that be if our cities each developed a program where we could do that somehow? Sure, we have an annual food drive from the post office, and another at the theater—but what about a weekly pickup for leftovers in a refrigerated truck, or even a donation pickup once a month for dry goods? It would be worth a shot.

Grilled Cantaloupe Dessert

I was at my local Safeway store today and noticed they have Cantaloupe on sale for only $ 0.99 each! Whatta deal! I was at the store because I had the urge to grill on what is likely one of the last beautiful Seattle Summer days before the "long grey" approaches. Naturally, I was hoping that I could include this miracle melon in my plans - and I did. I have got to tell you Grilled Cantelope may just be my new favorite thing.

Cantaloupe is a pretty juicy fruit and as such it grills beautifully, and the grilling really brings out the flavor. After grilling the slices for about 5 minutes on each side they were perfect, juicy, and above all - healthy! While plating I drizzled the slices with a little honey and topped them off with my favorite non-dairy frozen dessert - vanilla Tofutti!

The warm slices of Cantaloupe gave enough heat to the honey and Tofutti that they both became slightly more fluid and swirled around the melon to create this really beautiful combination. It was one of the best summer desserts I have had in my life - and again really good, healthy, nutritious stuff!

So if you happen to find yourself in a situation where there is a fruity deal you can't resist - try grilling it, and get creative. You, your guests, and your waistline will all be glad you did.

Grilled Chicken Cancer Risk

In a world where everything appears to give us cancer - Grilled Chicken can be added to the list.

That's right folks, the same grilled chicken you have been eating at your family BBQ because you thought it was more healthy than the diablo chili dogs, may cause cancer. How is this even possible? Well, grilled chicken contains PhIP, a cancer-causing chemical. PhIP and other heterocyclic amines are formed from the creatinine, amino acids, and sugar found in muscle tissue, and are produced by the presence of hot internal and external heat and lengthy cooking times. Heterocyclic amines can bind directly to DNA and cause mutations which can be be the first step in cancer production in your body.

In cancer-warning fight, court rules against California restaurants on August 13, 2010 - which means that in the great state of California the potential carcinogenic effects of grilled chicken may soon be popping up. It may look something like this: “WARNING: WELL COOKED CHICKEN, INCLUDING THE CHICKEN SERVED IN THIS RESTAURANT, CONTAIN CHEMICALS KNOWN TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE CANCER”.

Speaking as someone who is not in the medical profession: I feel this is another attempt to get the public scared about the possibilities. Everything is bad for you - even the oxygen we breathe - so I am going to continue to enjoy grilled chicken and maybe try to breathe less to balance things out.

Cafe W Chocolatey Chunk Cookie

I'm honestly not sure which issue to address first: the ominous use of the word "chocolatey" or the fact that this "Café W" is apparently Walgreens' new house brand.  

I had to make a late night unscheduled trip to Walgreens this week.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but the Walgreens in the next town over is the closest place to buy tampons at 11PM on a weekday.  It's open 24 hours, and you don't have to walk all over hell and gone just to get what you need and make it back to your car. 

(Safeway, I'm looking at you.  I love your giant aisles and vast wide open spaces, but if I only want one thing, it's like an expedition just getting there and back.)

On this trip I was feeling susceptible to snacks.  I'm sure you can relate.  Unless you're a guy, I guess.  Anyway: snacks.  I first cruised through the candy aisle, on the hunt for anything new.

This is where I found "W Brand Australian Style Licorice."  Confused by this new house brand (and why house brand licorice?  Is that not the strangest thing to offer in a house brand?) I continued on.  The next aisle held both W Brand Premium Ice Cream in quarts (a Haagen-Dasz lookalike) and these sad little cookies.

They also had Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream on sale.  I picked that up for immediate medicinal use, and bought this cookie as a potential booster shot for later in the week.  

And so I find myself staring at a house brand "chocolatey" chunk cookie wondering, why?  Why did they make it?  Why did Walgreens decided to create a house brand exclusively (as far as I can tell) for snack foods?  And how on god's green earth did they manage to get four grams of trans fat into a COOKIE for pity's sake?

Although it masquerades as a locally baked fresh item (note the plastic wrap which is meant to look like a local pastry case offering - but is really just shrink wrap held down by a sticker on the other side), these cookies are distributed by Prairie City Bakery in Libertyville, IL (which calls itself a "Food Service Bulk Bakery Solution").

I wonder how many chocolate chip cookies there are between my home on Puget Sound and the Prairie City Bakery in Illinois?  A lot, I bet.  

After picking futilely at the wrapper, I gave up and found a pair of scissors to cut the cookie free.  Upon opening the wrapper, the smell is distinctively chemical "fake cookie" scent.  It smells more like a cookie-scented candle than it does a cookie.

Bits of the edge flaked off in crumbs as I unwrapped it.  Combined with the "soft cookie" (no doubt aided by those trans fats) it gives the confusing impression that it's both stale AND fresh.

The taste is sickly sweet, and artificially flavored.  I haven't had one of those god-forsaken Keebler Soft Batch cookies in many years, but this brought back memories of those.  The after-taste is also chemical-y.  

I was prepared for a cookie that would be bland and not very good; I was wholly unprepared for a cookie that tasted like it was created in a chemistry lab.  The final verdict: quite possibly the worst cookie I've ever tried to eat.

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