A lot of things can make a kitchen gadget a useless waste of space, or "kinda dumb." But it takes a special kind of genius to make a kitchen gadget that really is the worst of the worst. (And how is it that so many people own these things, but don't have a single decent knife, much less a knife sharpener to keep it that way?)
Total Vision S'more Magic
This is a microwave s'more maker. You may be thinking, "But I can just stack graham crackers, chocolate, and a marshmallow on a plate and microwave them to make a s'more." And you would be right.
The only thing this gadget offers beyond that method is a plunger, to push down the marshmallow. You may be thinking, "But I can push down the marshmallow by hand." And you would be right again.
The only thing this gadget has going for it is the price: about $5, from what I've seen online.
Vacu Vin Kiwi Guard
This little plastic widget is a carrying case for a single kiwi fruit. Also, it's a spoon, for eating your kiwi.
If you have such a big problem with your kiwi fruits getting bruised and mangled on your way into the office, I'm going to suggest that a kiwi fruit carrying case is not the best solution. I'm going to suggest that you should stop carrying your fruit in your pocket, or in the bottom of your gym bag. Maybe you shouldn't be using your kiwi fruit to prop open the subway car door as you leap from the platform.
If only there were some way you could carry your entire lunch in a protective case! Like a box, for your lunch. A "lunch box," if you will.
Garlic Peeler
What is this thing that I am looking at. Why would you use it? You all know how to peel garlic, right? You mash it with the flat end of a knife, then cut off the butt end and pull the skin off. The process literally could not be easier.
Why you would want to use a big rubber manicotti is beyond me. Apparently you stick the clove in, rub it back and forth, and kind of chafe the skin off the garlic. Then you have to pick the skin out from inside it.
Any Single-Purpose Slicer
I'm putting these all under the same entry, because they're all just a manifestation of the same stupid and useless thing. And because THAT IS WHAT A KNIFE IS FOR. SLICING.
Think of any fruit or vegetable in the world and there is a single-purpose gadget to either peel it or slice it. (In some cases both.) 99.4% of the year, these items will sit idle in your drawer, taking up space. The other .6% of the time you'll drag it out and use it out of a sense of obligation, all the while secretly wishing that you could just use a knife instead.
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled avocado slices and pineapple corers and asparagus peelers and strawberry de-toppers yearning to be free. I will trade you all of them for one semi-decent chef's knife.
Total Vision S'more Magic
This is a microwave s'more maker. You may be thinking, "But I can just stack graham crackers, chocolate, and a marshmallow on a plate and microwave them to make a s'more." And you would be right.
The only thing this gadget offers beyond that method is a plunger, to push down the marshmallow. You may be thinking, "But I can push down the marshmallow by hand." And you would be right again.
The only thing this gadget has going for it is the price: about $5, from what I've seen online.
Vacu Vin Kiwi Guard
This little plastic widget is a carrying case for a single kiwi fruit. Also, it's a spoon, for eating your kiwi.
If you have such a big problem with your kiwi fruits getting bruised and mangled on your way into the office, I'm going to suggest that a kiwi fruit carrying case is not the best solution. I'm going to suggest that you should stop carrying your fruit in your pocket, or in the bottom of your gym bag. Maybe you shouldn't be using your kiwi fruit to prop open the subway car door as you leap from the platform.
If only there were some way you could carry your entire lunch in a protective case! Like a box, for your lunch. A "lunch box," if you will.
Garlic Peeler
What is this thing that I am looking at. Why would you use it? You all know how to peel garlic, right? You mash it with the flat end of a knife, then cut off the butt end and pull the skin off. The process literally could not be easier.
Why you would want to use a big rubber manicotti is beyond me. Apparently you stick the clove in, rub it back and forth, and kind of chafe the skin off the garlic. Then you have to pick the skin out from inside it.
Any Single-Purpose Slicer
I'm putting these all under the same entry, because they're all just a manifestation of the same stupid and useless thing. And because THAT IS WHAT A KNIFE IS FOR. SLICING.
Think of any fruit or vegetable in the world and there is a single-purpose gadget to either peel it or slice it. (In some cases both.) 99.4% of the year, these items will sit idle in your drawer, taking up space. The other .6% of the time you'll drag it out and use it out of a sense of obligation, all the while secretly wishing that you could just use a knife instead.
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled avocado slices and pineapple corers and asparagus peelers and strawberry de-toppers yearning to be free. I will trade you all of them for one semi-decent chef's knife.