As you might have heard, the McRib is back for a limited time. LIMITED TIME YOU GUYS. I finally gave in to nostalgia, hunger, and "feeling sorry for myself" and had a McRib today. I returned home filled with tangy barbecue sauce and regret.
The McRib is one of those cult favorite McDonalds foods. And yes, I feel like a sell-out just by having typed those words. Like the Shamrock Shake, the McRib was an elusive creation for many years. Sometimes they would pop up unexpectedly in one part of the country, only to vanish away just as quickly. An entire database-driven website was dedicated to tracking the McRib. I once made a detour on my way to Chicago O'Hare airport just to try and snag one. (Failed.)
And now? The McRib's season has come. All McDonalds everywhere are offering them through November 14th. And judging by what I saw there today, this promotion has been a smashing success. While I was waiting for mine, I witnessed five orders being processed. All of them included at least one McRib.
I hate myself for loving the McRib.
This sandwich was first introduced in 1981, when we all made fun of its "riblets" and fake barbecue grill lines. It was a sloppy sandwich, and an unsettling experience to be eating pork at McDonalds. Is there anything more indicative of America's horrifying relationship with food than the idea of a pressed pork patty shaped like an inexplicably boneless miniature side of ribs?
Worse, The Week has uncovered what is inside a McRib. The answer is: a lot of things. It contains about 70 ingredients, with 34 ingredients in the bun alone (including such mouthwatering additions as azodicarbonamide, a flour-bleaching agent which has been banned in the European Union because it contributes to respiratory problems in factory workers). As for the meat patty, it is made of "pig innards and plenty of salt."
In fact, the McRib may well be one of the worst (least palatable, least aesthetically appealing, and least defensible as a meal choice) items on our nation's woefully bad fast food menus. But that didn't stop me from eating one.
I tell you what will stop me from eating more than one, though: the McRib itself. From the instant heartburn to the disconcerting rumblings a few hours later, I am pretty sure that even aside from the shame, this is a meal that I will regret for a long time to come.