Spoiler alert: IT IS DELICIOUS.
Here is a phrase I never would have guessed I would find myself saying: this week I received the special ketchup that I ordered off Facebook. Isn't it weird, living in the future? AND AMAZING.
Here's how this went down. When Heinz decided to float a limited edition version of their classic ketchup with balsamic vinegar, someone in the boardroom got really excited about "the power of social media" and other such buzzwords. Networking! Retweet! Like like like!
I don't remember how I first heard about it. (I spend a lot of time on the internet, I'm basically a basking shark, filter feeding off the internet and sieving out the good stuff for a living.) But it was announced that on one particular day, if you went to the Heinz Ketchup Facebook page, you would be able to order the limited edition ketchup. This would allow you to try it (and hopefully Tweet about it) before its official launch in stores.
Now granted, there were some problems with the page on Buy Day. And admittedly there was a shipping SNAFU which meant that it took almost a month for my fancy-ass internet ketchup to arrive. But because of the problems, Heinz gave everyone free shipping, an extra bottle of ketchup, and one of their new Dip & Squeeze Packets. And for pity's sake, it's just ketchup, let's all keep a sense of perspective about things, shall we?
So the ketchup finally arrived and, spoiler alert, IT IS DELICIOUS. As soon as I opened the box I cracked a bottle and tasted a little dab off my pinkie finger, vice cop-style. My first thought was, "This has ruined me for ketchup forever."
Normal ketchup is made with white vinegar. This is exactly the same as their regular stuff, but with balsamic vinegar. It's like, umami to the max, dude! It tastes like if regular ketchup and Worcestershire sauce had a baby, and ketchup and barbecue sauce had a baby, and then those two babies had a baby. Still with me? Look, it's really tasty, that's the take-away point here.
I encourage you to buy this when you find it in stores. Because hopefully if they sell enough bottles quickly enough, balsamic vinegar ketchup will become a Regular Thing, and I won't have to go without. At the very least, you will want to stockpile this against the coming Zombie Apocalypse. Because what if there were zombies and all you had were tater tots and regular ketchup? YOU WOULD BE SO SAD.