Are "Crunchy" Cereals Really All that Healthy?

It's time to think about what we eat for breakfast.

Over the years, I’ve learned a more than a few things about cereal. While I’m not necessarily a foodie-cereal-consumer (I’ll leave that role for the Seattle granolas in town), I’m definitely what I would like to term a “cereal-appreciator.” Today, I came to the conclusion that I am positive many others have reached before me: Be wary of any cereal with the word “crunch” in the title.

Cap’n Crunch is not only the most notorious pirate on the high seas, his cereal ranks amongst the most sticky-sweet cereal around town. I don’t think that I’m going out on too far of a limb to say that Cap’n Crunch cereal is primarily a combination of sugar and air. Mmmmmm, good? Sure, if you’re nine years old and are addicted to sugar, then Cap’n Crunch is absolutely the best thing around. It’s like crack for kids, but in the form of cereal. The best part is that it’s considered healthy because usually it’s consumed with milk.

The fact that Cap’n Crunch’s website even has anything listed at all on the site about health and nutrition is about as funny as the FDA’s food pyramid; both are jokes to anyone who cares about what kind of food they or their kids eat.

OK, onto the next cereal offender with Crunch in its name. Kashi GoLean Crunch! sounds like a healthy alternative to many of the cereals you find in the aisle. After, it has the word “lean” in its name, right?

Have you ever had the pleasure of eating Kashi GoLean Crunch? I tried it for the first time this week, and absolutely love it, but I have to admit it doesn’t really seem very healthy. It’s pretty much Cracker Jax in cereal form, but marketed as healthy. All of which translates into an extremely unhealthy brand of cereal that is more than slightly addictive and tasty. I am absolutely positive that there are hundreds of people in the mid-west of the United States who actually believe the marketing about GoLean Crunch’s healthiness. The only thing even remotely healthy about GoLean Crunch! is that it doesn’t contain any corn fructose syrup. Instead of the dreaded GoLean Crunch!, the cereal-maker uses Cane Juice Crystals to sweeten the cereal.

Cane juice crystals might be a little healthier than corn fructose syrup, but are they really going to make you any leaner? Are they actually a diet food? I don’t think so.
 
 

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5 Unique Banana Dishes

Few foods are as nutritious, delicious and versatile as the banana. It's nature's snack food, complete with a biodegradable wrapper. While bananas are excellent on their own, I find that they're sorely under-represented in the kitchen. There are so many things that amazing fruit can do, but it rarely ever sees heat outside the occasional muffin or pudding. Here are a few less conventional dishes in which the banana is the star.

Banana Salad

Though we often think of bananas as being exclusively sweet in application, the truth is that they can mix with a wide variety of flavors. Combined with fresh greens like spinach and arugula, a light sesame dressing, some walnuts and fresh cracked pepper, banana slices can be a tropical variation on other refreshing salad medallions like cucumber and radish. Sliced thin and patted to wick away extra moisture, the banana coins will have a perfect consistency for a starter.

 

Fish Garnish

Fruit and fish are a perfect combination. Though citrus is the traditional mate for fish, any soft, mildly sweet fruit can liven up a fresh catch. Served chopped into a taco or sliced lengthwise for a sandwich, the banana will add a smooth accompaniment similar to sour cream, but with a bright, sweet tone.

 

Cheese Vessel

Though I don't intend to unseat the cracker as the preferred platform for cheese, there's something to be said for the way different fruits can bring out special characteristics in cheese. Apples are common partners to light cheeses traditionally served with white wine, though I think banana slices do wonders for sharp, strong cheese like anything in the blue variety. The fruit holds the typically crumbly cheese in place from the plate and straight into chewing, while the soft consistency and sweetness of the banana balance some of the harsh, salty qualities of the cheese.

 

Multi-Purpose Shavings

Dried bananas are too often relegated to the "healthy snack" category, especially in chip form. That's all well and good, but why not take advantage of the dried format the way we use coconut? Dried banana, grated or shaved, can be used to garnish desserts, drinks or tropical dishes, serve as dusting for cakes or even find its way into cookies for a powerful banana flavor.

 

Sauce

One word: Puree. Banana, lightly fried and seasoned, can be pureed to form the base of a sweet, surprising sauce. Augmented with a spot of cognac, fresh herbs and milk, this sauce could do wonders for a boneless chicken breast, a finish for stewed pork or a topping for tempeh patties.

Giant Spirals: A Cheeto Too Far?

Have you ever wanted to eat a snack food the size and shape of one of those curly-q compact fluorescent lightbulbs? Then this is your lucky day!
Look, I get it. Manufacturers have a vested interest in making as many different variations of their core product as they can. First of all, it keeps the customers' interest piqued, the same reason why a woman who's been married for ten years might splurge on a new bra-and-panties set from Victoria's Secret. Second of all, it claims even more shelf space for the brand, because stores have to stock the original AND the new variety. And third, I imagine, because they have a whole entire R&D lab dedicated to developing new Cheetos, and obviously those people want to earn their pay.
Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder what happened when the flavor scientists first presented their idea for a new form of Cheetos. I imagine a shocked silence in the boardroom, after a person in a white lab coat wheels in a stainless steel cart. Atop the cart (in my imagination) sits a large white enamel bowl filled to the brim with these crazy-ass giant spiral Cheetos.
Technically named "Twisted Puffs," although the name gives no indication of the sheer brazen size of these things. They would seem to be the natural progression from the giant ping pong ball-sized Giant Puffs which were released last year. Those puffs were outstandingly impressive in size, but rather difficult to eat. Too big for a single bite, but surprisingly awkward to bite in half. And then you have the weird disintegration factor that happens with all of the puffed variety of Cheetos.
Now take that experience, and lengthen it into a long spiral. Weird, right? Weird.
Oddball though it is, I liked the spiral shape. It proved to be easy to bite in half - easier than the Giant Puffs, actually, even though the spirals are bigger. And you don't necessarily have to bite them in half if you don't want to. If you're okay with looking like a completely disgusting piggy, you can cram them into your mouth sideways. Although you might have to do it one end at a time, to wedge the whole thing in there.
We're just coming off a long trend for making snack treats "louder." More flavor, more extreme, hotter, brighter, stronger. Frankly I would rather see snack foods get bigger. It's better for my gastric reflux.
And so I say, bring on the giant spiral Dorito chips!
 

Wasabi Peas: The Perfect Snack Food

The Japanese have been enjoying wasabi peas for ages. But here in America, wasabi peas have only come into the national consciousness in the last few decades. They have quickly become popular enough that even Trader Joe's carries their own brand of wasabi peas, which is surely the imprimatur of national acceptance!
My first experience with wasabi peas was in my first few weeks of college. My roommate was an Asian-American woman from Hawaii, and her parents sent her a care package containing all sorts of crazy-looking food. I didn't know what half of it was. (In fact, I skipped past a bag of nori puffed snack cracker treats because I thought they were a bag of replacement coat buttons.)
She urged me to try some wasabi peas, but only one or two at a time. Thank goodness she wasn't in a sadistic mood, because one or two was more than enough for my tender palate!
But after the initial burning and terror and panting and "Whooo!"ing, I paused, then asked if I could have a few more.
That's the thing about wasabi peas: the heat builds and builds as you snack on them, until suddenly you can take no more. You curse the day you ever tried them. You lunge for the nearest glass of water. (Since the heat of wasabi isn't oil-based, it can be quenched with water.)
And then a few minutes later, you find yourself reaching for them all over again!
The wasabi "kick" is actually pretty small with these little guys. It's more the flavor of wasabi, with very little of the burn. Nevertheless, you wouldn't want to pack a whole handful into your mouth. These are a snack to savor, one at a time. These aren't Cheetos, to be gobbled down wholesale.
Between that and the protein content and nutrition of the peas, this is a great snack for anyone watching their diet. You get crunchy, sweet, salty, and spicy all in one little snack - and you can't binge on them the way you can on Lay's.
Wasabi peas really are one of the world's most perfect snack foods. Protip: I always bring a bag to any gathering I have been invited to. Set out a bowl of wasabi peas, and people's eyes will light up. And there is almost always someone who has never tried wasabi peas. It's always fun to show people a delicious new food!
Just don't be a sadist. Make sure they only eat one or two the first time. It's the right thing to do!
 

Getting to Know Your Bacon

Bacon, a meat product resulting from various cuts of pork, most notably from the belly, has been a major part of world cuisine for thousands of years. It's simple, tasty and high in calories, which makes it a sought-after food in times of scarcity and an indulgence in times of plenty. Bacon has seen a recent surge in popularity, becoming a sort of culinary meme and opening up cooking trends both high and low brow. It's a delightful kitchen tool and can really bring some character to traditional dishes. To get the most out of your bacon, you need to know its nuances. Here are a few things to remember about this popular type of meat.

 

First, it's important to understand the origins of this product. For Americans especially, this means pork belly. Pork belly is exactly what it sounds like: Meat cut from the belly of a pig. It's boneless, has moderate-to-high fat content and it packs a lot of flavor in its dense, tender space. Most of the belly bacon we eat is salt cured for preservation and flavor, with a fraction of that also being smoked for extra taste. Applewood smoked bacon is especially popular in dishes that prominently feature the meat, like sandwiches and salads.

But pork belly is valuable as more than just a source of bacon. Filets of pork belly are popping up in a lot of modern dining establishments, especially those that specialize in small plates. It's a bit too risky, health-wise, to make a whole steak out of pork belly (though it would make a heck of a last meal), but a one-inch-thick, six-inch long strip roasted and served with greens makes for a delicious main course. Similar strips do well as accompaniment to macaroni and cheese, grilled zucchini or asparagus.

In a lot of other countries, bacon doesn't come from pork belly, though. In other bacon-loving cultures like Canada and Ireland, back bacon, made from pork loin, is the preference. Back bacon is considerably leaner than belly bacon, making it ideal as a central dish rather than a side. This is often referred to as "rasher" bacon, a term indicating a discreet slice of loin. It's getting easier to find back bacon in the States these days, so feel free to experiment with it.

Using bacon in cooking is a matter of harnessing its fat content. Bacon fat is certainly higher in cholesterol than vegetable oil, but it brings a lot of flavor to the party and can actually be made fairly healthy with proper rendering. Rendering bacon is the process of coaxing the fat out of the meat for use as a frying medium. This is achieved by very slowly (i.e. on a low setting) heating the bacon in a pan with a small measure of water. Rendered bacon fat imbues dishes with a rich flavor that simply can't be achieved with oil, butter or other frying media. It's the secret ingredient in Coq au Vin, a staple of modern Asian cuisine and makes for an unparalleled Philly cheese steak sandwich.

While bacon is delicious on its own, it's worthwhile to think of it as a raw ingredient in sophisticated cooking. This means looking for fresh, local bacon just like you would look for fresh, local produce. Learn to spot the right amount of fat content for your planned dish and invest some time in learning how to cut strips at home so you can get exactly the thickness you desire. Bacon is a culinary powerhouse in the right hands and it has a lot to contribute to the world beyond the breakfast table.

Road Food Rules

Eating on the road can be a pretty dicey prospect. A lot of food is too messy, complicated or easy to spoil to really fit in the confines of a car or truck. While everybody has their favorite road food, it’s more important to follow certain guidelines than to stick to specific kinds of provisions. Here are the rules of road food.

Cold is not an option

First, refrigeration is not an option, at least not unless you’re traveling in an RV or another vehicle large and well equipped enough to have a small chill chest. If you travel like most road trippers, you won’t have access to that most modern method of preservation. That said, older preserving techniques are fair game. Salt is your friend in this case. Particularly, jerky is a wonderful road food. It’s one of the oldest road foods in history. People have been preserving meat, fish and other foods in salt for longer than we’ve been recording history. Jerky and other salt-preserved foods take up little space, provide a lot of energy and help travelers with the next rule…

 

Hydration is about more than water

Staying hydrated is very important for remaining focused, happy and healthy while enduring the rigors of the road. But hydration involves more than just consuming ample amounts of water. People need to help their bodies absorb the water they consume, which usually involves electrolytes like salt, potassium and calcium. Salt is the most easy to come by for travelers, unless keeping a bunch of bananas on hand seems like a good idea. An ounce of jerky plus a bottle of water makes for a great energy boost (and fewer pit stops) on the road.

 

Steer clear of diuretics

Unfortunately, a lot of drinks available to road trippers aren’t kind to the human bladder. Caffeine, while a source of energy boosts, also puts stress on the kidneys which means a lot more frequent bathroom breaks. Coffee, tea, soda and energy drinks aren’t a good idea on the road. Seek pep in kinder places, like Vitamin C. Oranges, pre-peeled, sliced and bagged, make perfect road provisions for energy.

 

Limit sugar intake

There’s nothing wrong with a little sweetness for stimulation and fun on the road, but keep it to a minimum. Sugar can upset the stomach in larger quantities, cause tooth sensitivity beyond the reach of a toothbrush and bring on fatigue when the upswing wears off. Try not to indulge in that gas station candy and show some restraint when you hit the inevitable roadside fudge stand.

The Orange Juice Is A Lie

According to a new report in The Consumerist, it turns out that all orange juice you buy at the grocery store has been denatured, reprocessed, and pumped full of orange juice-tasting chemicals to such an extent that it barely resembles the original. All courtesy of a new book called "Squeezed: What You Don't Know About Orange Juice," which promises to do for the orange juice industry what "Fast Food Nation" did for the beef industry.
When orange juice says "not from concentrate," it's true that it hasn't been concentrated. But what has happened is that it has been stored in giant tanks with the air removed, to keep it "fresh" year round. Then, in order to repair the damage done to the flavor during this process, the orange juice manufacturers add what they call "flavor packs." These are chemical cocktails which have been carefully engineered to provide the right flavor profile.
I found it particularly interesting that many of these flavor packs include ethyl butyrate. This is a pineapple-y tasting chemical which is derived from butyric acid. Butyric acid is what makes dairy products like butter and parmesan taste rich and buttery. It's also a national favorite flavor of America, and is added to all sorts of things you wouldn't expect.
Butyric acid is interesting because culturally, it's not a big hit in Asia. In fact, in Asia there is a perception that Americans smell like butter. Which makes sense in a way, because many Americans - fattened on a diet rich in butyric acid - may well be giving off the chemical in our sweat.
And to bring this full circle, I have been put off many a container of orange juice products by an odd odor of buttermilk. I always assumed it meant that the juice had gone bad. Now I think I may just have been detecting the ham-handed application of flavor packs at the juice factory.
Of course, many people don't feel any squeamishness in learning that something supposedly natural is actually just a calculated chemical cocktail. But at the very least, this expose makes it obvious that the price on these juices has been hugely marked up. You're basically paying premium prices for something that's just one step away from Kool-Aid.
It's pretty easy to make your own orange juice. And if you have never tried freshly-squeezed juice, you will be blown away by the difference! Or better still, just eat oranges. All the nutritional value and delicious taste, plus a lot of healthy fiber to boot!

My Recipe for a Sugar-Coated Satan Sandwich

We are living in a truly remarkable time. It is a time of instant communication across multiple platforms, unprecedented citizen participation in political discourse and now, at long last, the Federal government is finally starting to contribute to the culinary world. It's about time, too. Foodies have been letting politicians use the word "pork" in a derogatory sense for decades when, as we all know, pork can a delicious enhancement of many dishes and not just unwanted additions to otherwise reasonable bills meant to curry favor from powerful people.

Mmm... curry.

Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes. The career-making soundbyte care of Representative Emanuel Cleaver. I can't be certain in which capacity Rep. Cleaver was speaking when he referred to the recent, last-minute Congressional debt agreement as "a sugar-coated Satan sandwich". It may have been as a member of the U.S. House of Representatives trying to get attention amidst his hundreds of peers, as a chairman of the little-known Congressional Black Caucus, as a Democrat trying to match current Republican politicians in crazy phrases or as a religious nut. His main argument against the debt deal is that it apparently violates the tenants of every major world religion, thus the "Satan" aspect of his statement, but we today are so inured to religious fundamentalism that the food aspect of the phrase has caught more attention than the political or religious commentary. I don't plan on changing that, which is why I have decided to devise a recipe for a completely edible Sugar-Coated Satan Sandwich.

 

The hardest part of creating a Sugar-Coated Satan Sandwich is deciding what exactly counts as the "Satan" portion. After some deep thought, I decided to go for the homonym option. Our sandwich will be 100% vegetarian thanks to the prominent use of seitan, the like-sounding product of high-protein wheat gluten. Seitan is a popular meat substitute and it has an easy time absorbing flavors. That's why our sandwich's quarter-pound patty of seitan is going to be slathered in Tabasco or some other hot pepper sauce. It'll give it some taste but also stay true to the infernal qualities of Rep. Cleaver's original statement.

But what about the sugar-coated aspect? Well, no need to reinvent the wheel on this one. The classic Monte Cristo sandwich has been using sweet, rich French Toast to serve as its binding bread for ages and it has worked out excellently. In order to mitigate the somewhat bizarre contrast of sweet French Toast, meaty seitan and sharp pepper sauce, I think it's appropriate to coat the toast's inner sides with a thin layer of Greek yogurt. It's mildly sweet itself, has a way of softening strong, spicy flavors and the dairy will cut some of the heat from the pepper sauce.

As for garnish, we need to be careful here. Traditional garnishes like lettuce and tomato won't mix very well with this already challenging sandwich, which is why I've taken some further inspiration from Mediterranean cuisine by suggesting cucumber slices. Some grated carrot would also bring a nice crispness to the final product.

So, there you have it. A true Sugar-Coated Satan Sandwich. It's true to the spirit of the idea and, odd as the combination of flavors might be, it has a good chance of being rather tasty.

Why Pasta Sauce From Scratch is Better

There are a lot of reasons why pasta sauce from a bottle or can is inferior to sauce made from fresh ingredients. Aside from the usual processed vs. fresh complaints about metallic flavors, preservatives and high sodium levels, the fact is that a lot of things that make fresh sauce good just aren't possible or practical in mass production. Certain chemical reactions either can't happen reliably in a giant vat or won't survive long after the lid gets sealed. There are a few key players in the surprisingly nuanced science of red sauce. Namely, they are tomatoes, wine, herbs and time.

Let's start with what seems like the most straightforward but is actually the most variable ingredient, tomatoes. Now, a lot of pasta sauce recipes calls for some crazy combination of fresh tomatoes, tomato paste, crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes and just about any other form of the fruit, but that's just a leftover issue from bygone days of supermarket fever. Fresh is all you need and fresh is all you really want, for a lot of reasons. Chiefly, fresh tomatoes don't have any added salt or sugar, which makes it possible for you to tightly control the seasoning in your sauce. Too much salt or sugar will overpower your sauce no matter what else you do to it. Honestly, tomatoes have enough moisture and structure that pastes and other forms simply aren't necessary, not when you consider the importance of...

...Time. The best pasta sauces simmer on the stove all day and with good reason. Getting that thick consistency everyone loves is simply a matter of letting the water slowly boil out of the mixture. Let this happen too quickly (re: on too high a heat setting) and you'll burn the solids in your sauce. A very low, steady heat will reduce your sauce in a way that both thickens it smoothly and brings out some of the natural sweetness of the tomatoes.

But we're not done with tomatoes just yet. Not when wine is involved. In addition to bringing a lot of flavor to the sauce on its own, wine has the added advantage of containing that chemical powerhouse, ethanol. Yes, drinking alcohol has many culinary applications, including the ability to interact with the molecular structure of fruit to unlock delicious flavors that aren't otherwise possible. This is why vodka is such a common ingredient in gourmet tomato sauces. Wine is softer in flavor, so letting it serve as a part of your sauce's base is a great way to get the most out of your fruit.

Herbs are the biggest flavor components in pasta sauce, most notably garlic. The rule is, if you think you're using enough garlic, you're not. The stuff is inexpensive, so don't be shy about throwing a large number of cloves into your sauce. It's remarkably difficult to make a sauce taste "too garlicky", especially among all those other flavors. But other heavy hitters like basil, rosemary and oregano are just as important. As with the tomatoes, use fresh herbs. They have more taste and they add a refreshing bouquet to the sauce that dried stuff just can't replicate.

Of course, fresh ingredients are impossible in mass produced sauces. Even if fresh things go into the sauce at production, they aren't fresh anymore when you finally get your hands on the sauce. The use of alcohol is financially problematic at best and waiting for a vast quantity of sauce to simmer all day, taste testing the whole time, is simply not feasible. If you want the finest, most flavorful and healthiest pasta sauce, you have to build it with care from fresh ingredients. It's well worth the time and effort.

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