Giant Spirals: A Cheeto Too Far?

Giant Spirals: A Cheeto Too Far?

Have you ever wanted to eat a snack food the size and shape of one of those curly-q compact fluorescent lightbulbs? Then this is your lucky day!
Look, I get it. Manufacturers have a vested interest in making as many different variations of their core product as they can. First of all, it keeps the customers' interest piqued, the same reason why a woman who's been married for ten years might splurge on a new bra-and-panties set from Victoria's Secret. Second of all, it claims even more shelf space for the brand, because stores have to stock the original AND the new variety. And third, I imagine, because they have a whole entire R&D lab dedicated to developing new Cheetos, and obviously those people want to earn their pay.
Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder what happened when the flavor scientists first presented their idea for a new form of Cheetos. I imagine a shocked silence in the boardroom, after a person in a white lab coat wheels in a stainless steel cart. Atop the cart (in my imagination) sits a large white enamel bowl filled to the brim with these crazy-ass giant spiral Cheetos.
Technically named "Twisted Puffs," although the name gives no indication of the sheer brazen size of these things. They would seem to be the natural progression from the giant ping pong ball-sized Giant Puffs which were released last year. Those puffs were outstandingly impressive in size, but rather difficult to eat. Too big for a single bite, but surprisingly awkward to bite in half. And then you have the weird disintegration factor that happens with all of the puffed variety of Cheetos.
Now take that experience, and lengthen it into a long spiral. Weird, right? Weird.
Oddball though it is, I liked the spiral shape. It proved to be easy to bite in half - easier than the Giant Puffs, actually, even though the spirals are bigger. And you don't necessarily have to bite them in half if you don't want to. If you're okay with looking like a completely disgusting piggy, you can cram them into your mouth sideways. Although you might have to do it one end at a time, to wedge the whole thing in there.
We're just coming off a long trend for making snack treats "louder." More flavor, more extreme, hotter, brighter, stronger. Frankly I would rather see snack foods get bigger. It's better for my gastric reflux.
And so I say, bring on the giant spiral Dorito chips!